Connect with us
  • Elysium


‘My brain injury ruined my life – I wanted to end it all’



Having suffered a traumatic brain injury in an assault aged only 24, Martin’s life was changed forever. Here, he tells NR Times how his personality was changed beyond recognition, and why he is now relieved his suicide attempt failed.

It was a Wednesday morning. The sun was shining, children walked past my house on their way to school, it was a day like any other. But for me, today was different. Today was the day I decided I no longer wanted to be in this world.

I took one last look at the sun from my window, closed the blinds, then went to my bedroom with a cocktail of pills to hopefully make it all just end…

Having suffered a brain injury two years previously in a violent assault, which left me with a personality even I didn’t recognise, my life was in ruins.

I had a job I enjoyed prior to that, I didn’t have a lot of money but it was enough. I had a circle of friends I’d known since childhood and we went out together every weekend. Life was good.

But since that fateful night, when I lost the person I was, things have been very different. I often say the old me died there and then on the pavement, having been attacked by a coward outside a nightclub. In reality, paramedics saved my life, and I woke up in hospital with no memory of what happened.

But while I could thankfully not recall the assault – which I’m told was totally unprovoked – I also had no memory of much of my life previously. I couldn’t remember my address, my mum’s name, and many other details you just take for granted that you know.

And that was just the start of it. As well as the memory loss, I became angry, furiously angry. I would lose my temper with the TV, the ticking of the clock, if my ready meal hadn’t cooked quickly enough. It could be anything.

But what was worse was the vicious things I would say. One of my friends came round to visit one day, who had been with me on the night of the attack and who had stayed with me while I was unconscious, he was a great and loyal friend.

‘Your ears really stick out, you look like Dumbo, you look absolutely stupid,’ I said, completely without any reason. I’d known since our school days that he had been conscious of his ears, and at one time was really badly bullied about them. Why did I make such a horrible remark out of nowhere, particularly to someone I valued so much?

That, sadly, was not a one-off, and so often, I tell the absolute truth about people and situations. I know that really puts my mum off going places with me, she has been so horribly embarrassed so many times.

The culmination of these factors, which impact your life more than you could ever imagine if you haven’t experienced them for yourself, made me think I just didn’t want this anymore. This was my life and it was terrible. I wished so many times I had died on that pavement outside the nightclub, along with the person I used to be.

After closing my eyes on that Wednesday morning and deciding it was now time to end it all, I woke up in hospital for a second time. My mum never visited my house on a Wednesday, but on this particular week she decided to pop by. She called an ambulance and got me to hospital in time.

I remember so distinctly waking up, my mum by my bedside, looking absolutely distraught. That isn’t something I ever wanted to put her through, and by being so stuck in my misery, I hadn’t even contemplated the consequences for those I loved. I realised I had to make changes.

I’m now living with my parents again, having decided to give up my desperate attempts to live independently. I’m getting proper support after admitting I can’t cope and instead of insisting I’m fine, and becoming really angry when no-one believed me, I have said I need some help.

Asking for help is not something I have ever done, but having reached the bottom, I realised that was the only way. I have come to realise that is not a weak thing to do and am now proud of myself for doing that. I have to accept I’m not the same person I was, and while that is a horrible realisation, it’s the only way I can even hope to move forward.

The only thing I could say to anyone else who feels they can’t cope is that it’s fine to feel like that – but please tell someone. Whether it’s someone in your family, friends, medical professionals, whoever it is. Don’t be too proud to say ‘I’m struggling’. Don’t make the mistakes I did. Thankfully for me, it’s not too late to try and get some of my life back – but it so nearly was.


Learn more about virtual reality in rehab

Event is an opportunity to hear from expert Dr Katherine Dawson, Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist.



An event later this month will give neuro-rehab professionals an opportunity to learn more about the use of virtual reality in the field. 

The virtual webinar, on 26th January at 1.20pm to 2.30pm, features an in-depth talk by Dr Katherine Dawson, Consultant Clinical Neuropsychologist.

A Guide to Virtual Reality, which can be booked by emailing, will cover:

– Growth of digital health

– Virtual Reality(VR) / Telerehabilitation evidence base

– Virtual tour of the Brain Recovery Zone VR platform

– Where does the Brain Recovery Zone sit in a clinical pathway

– Clinical outcomes, case studies, and research trial

Dr. Katherine Dawson has over 15 years experience working in various rehabilitation settings (both within the NHS and private sector) with individuals who have a wide range of neurological conditions.

She has a particular interest in cognitive rehabilitation, and working with individuals and families to manage emotional and behavioural changes following Acquired Brain Injury (ABI).

She is currently involved in research with the NHS regarding ABI and telerehabilitation, and has recently published a book exploring adjustment to brain injury from the perspectives of clients, family members and clinicians. 

In December 2017, Katherine set up a local neuro-rehab service (Sphere Rehab) with her business partner, focusing on community integration post ABI. She also co-founded the Brain Recovery Zone neuro rehab Virtual Reality platform in the summer of 2019. The team are commissioned by several local CCGs and also work within the private sector.

Ahead of the event, she said: “I just wanted to say a massive thank you to Think Therapy 1st for inviting me to talk about VR and the Brain Recovery Zone. Virtual Reality has great potential in neuro rehab – both to ‘up’ the dosage of rehab, in addition to promoting ongoing engagement and self management.

“I am really looking forward to delivering this webinar and discussing some of the clinical outcomes including the work completed together with Think Therapy 1st and other clients.”

Helen Merfield, Managing Director, Think Therapy 1st, which is organising the event, said: “I am really excited about our VR event we have used Dr Dawson on a number of cases with amazing results and her VR really has changed lives.

“So much so that we are partnering with her company Sphere as a preferred provider for both VR through Brain Recovery Zone and Clinical and Neuro psychology. Close working ties can only improve outcomes which for both our companies are already impressive.”

To register for the event email


Continue Reading


Sport and exercise ‘have key role in mental health and wellbeing’

The Moving for Mental Health report highlights the role of physical activity in supporting mental resilience and recovery



Physical activity and sport can play a key role in supporting mental health and wellbeing and helping people to recover from the ongoing impact of the COVID-19 pandemic, a new report has concluded. 

The Moving for Mental Health report includes better training for health professionals to prescribe movement as a means of effectively tackling the vast growth in people experiencing mental health issues. 

Produced following the onset of the pandemic, the report sets out evidence that developing a healthy relationship with physical activity and being involved in linked programmatic interventions and social networks is beneficial, can improve people’s mental health and wellbeing, and help tackle social isolation.

The project, by the Sport for Development Coalition and Mind, highlights how COVID-19 has exposed the weaknesses of single-sector responses to addressing complex mental health problems and tackling growing health inequalities. 

The report recommends physical activity and community sport be further embedded in health policy and integrated care systems while calling for an enhanced role for experts by experience and diverse communities leading in the design, implementation and evaluation of future strategy and programming.

Launched at an online meeting of the All-Party Parliamentary Group for Sport, it is also designed to support and inspire public bodies, funders, commissioners and policy-makers as well as community-based programme providers aiming to enhance the impact of movement for mental health.

Paul Farmer, chief executive of Mind, said: “While Mind’s research suggests that half of adults and young people have relied on physical activity to cope during the pandemic, we also know that physical activity levels for people with long-term health conditions, including mental health problems, have declined. 

“Considering how vital physical activity is for many people’s mental health, it is clear that we need a collective effort to reach those who need support the most.”

Andy Reed, chair of the Sport for Development Coalition, said: “This report is aimed at supporting and informing policy-makers about how we can maximise the contribution of targeted sport and physical activity-based interventions at this crucial time.”

The research was led by a team of academic researchers from Edge Hill University and Loughborough University, and draws on evidence and submissions from over 70 organisations including sport and mental health organisations, public bodies and Government departments.

Andy Smith, professor of sport and physical activity at Edge Hill University, said: “The impact of Covid-19 on people’s mental health and wellbeing cannot be overstated. 

“It has brought to light the significant mental health inequalities which existed prior to COVID-19, but which have since worsened further, especially among those living in under-served and low-income communities. 

“Our research is calling on the Government and other public bodies to invest in the provision of movement opportunities for mental health across multiple policy sectors, and to use the evidence presented as a basis for making more effective policy decisions which benefit everyone’s mental health and which tackle deep-seated inequalities.”

Moving for Mental Health is the first policy report in a series being published throughout 2022 by the Coalition and relevant partners. The reports are aimed at maximising the contribution of targeted sport-based interventions to helping ‘level up’ communities facing disadvantage and deprivation and tackling deep-seated health and societal inequalities which have been exacerbated by COVID-19.

Continue Reading


Calvert Trust announces new trustees

Louise Dunn, Judith Gate, Emily Flynn and Victoria Notman bring their expertise to the Trust, which also runs Calvert Reconnections



The Lake District Calvert Trust (LDCT), which runs brain injury rehabilitation centre Calvert Reconnections, has started 2022 by announcing the appointment of four new trustees.

Louise Dunn, Judith Gate, Emily Flynn and Victoria Notman will bring their respective expertise to supporting the further development of the charity and its vital services.

Louise Dunn

Louise Dunn is a communications consultant and academic with over 25 years’ experience of management and leadership roles in the pharmaceutical industry and at Alder Hey Children’s NHS Foundation Trust and Charity.

Commenting on her appointment, Louise said: “As a Keswick resident, I’m delighted to be able to get involved with this extraordinary organisation, that has such a positive impact for people living with disabilities in our community and all over the UK.

“I am looking forward to learning more about how I can help the team and contributing to their exciting plans for the future.”

Judith Gate has extensive experience in the charity and public sectors including leading the volunteering and customer care functions for a national charity.

She currently leads a continuous improvement programme with a focus on delivering efficiency and improved customer experience through business process improvement and digital transformation.

Judith Gate

Judith said: “I applied to be trustee because I wanted to use my skills to deliver as much positive impact as possible. As an outdoor enthusiast I feel a genuine connection to the Calvert Trust‘s mission of making outdoor activity accessible to everyone

“I am really excited to join the board and look forward to using my knowledge and experience to help support the Trust achieve its ambitions over the coming years.”

Emily Flynn has over 21 years’ experience as a military officer and communications-electronics engineer across a wide spectrum of business areas including: senior leadership/board-level management; digital optimisation; resource planning; engineering, operations and risk management; trusteeship; and mountaineering leadership.

Commenting on her appointment, Emily said: “I am delighted to become a trustee of the Lake District Calvert Trust.

“The military introduced me to the benefits of outdoor education as a means of expanding personal confidence and stretching comfort zones in a controlled environment. It also led me to become a mountaineer.

“I hope to be able to bring my previous experience as a leader, mountaineer, engineer and trustee to help the Calvert Trust

Emily Flynn

continue to deliver amazing outdoor education to its participants and to help it grow over the next few years.”

Victoria Notman is legal director at the employment team at Burnetts Solicitors in Carlisle and has over 20 years’ experience as an employment lawyer.

She also has a first-class honours degree in physiotherapy and experience in the rehabilitation and development of adults and young people with mild to severe physical and mental impairments and learning needs.

Victoria said: “I am looking forward to applying my knowledge and skills to become integrated into the fabric of the Trust to such a degree that all the experience I have to offer can really make a difference to the lives and happiness of those accessing Calvert Lakes and Calvert Reconnections.”

Welcoming the charity’s new trustees, Giles Mounsey-Heysham, chairman of the LDCT Trustees, said: “After a detailed recruitment process, we are delighted to welcome our new Trustees.

Victoria Notman

“Together they bring a wealth of skills, experience and shared passion to the Lake District Calvert Trust. We welcome their contributions moving forward.”

The Lake District Calvert Trust has been supporting people with disabilities from its specialist Calvert Lakes residential centre and accessible riding centre near Keswick in the Lake District for almost 45 years.

Calvert Lakes has grown from being the UK’s first dedicated activity centre for people with disabilities, to welcoming around 3,500 visitors to stay each year.

These include individuals, family groups, specialist schools, accessible sports clubs, disability charity groups, supported living organisations and care homes across the UK.

Last year, the charity also opened Calvert Reconnections, the UK’s first residential brain injury rehabilitation programme combining traditional clinical therapies with physical activity in the outdoors.

Continue Reading


Get the NR Times update